The Father's Love

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.” 1^st John 4:18

That verse made sense to me for the first time this past week, while we were off at a retreat in the mountains. We had our sessions outside in a big field of green grass with mountains and sky all around us. Kris Vallotton, the associate pastor at bethel, was speaking. The night before, kindof an impromptu question and answer session went on for hours and hours while we were all having free time and drinking coffee. He’s really great too, very wise, lots of experience, lots of good things to say.

He wanted to talk to us about God’s love for us, and he demonstrated it with three stories about his grandfather’s love for him. He grew up with a series of bad step-fathers, and his grandfather was like a father to him.

I can’t tell the stories like he could—but I can summarize. He told three times or so when, growing up, he just really messed up—

1. He wanted to build a go-cart and used wooden slats he peeled off of the garage and wheels from his grandfather’s lawn mower.
2. He ripped the door of off his grandfather’s farm truck messing around with his cousins
3. He broke the tractor, which he wasn’t supposed to be driving, when he was trying to knock over a tree.

So-similarities of the stories—each time he was doing something that he wasn’t supposed to do—stupid things, things that make a lot of trouble and that have to be fixed.

And each time he told about how the reactions of the people around him was to say, “oohhh, grandpa’s gonna kill you. Oh man, you’re dead, you’re dead.”

But, each time, each story, ended with is grandfather—who was not a believer—reacting completely in love. Instead of shaming or bringing guilt, the grandfather reacted like,

1. “well—we can put some ply wood up on the garage—let’s go get you some real wheels for that thing.”
2. “you know, I’ve been wanting to take the doors off that old thing for a long time, why don’t you go ahead and take the other one off as well.”
3. “well, I’ve been wanting to show you how to use the torches for a while. Go on and get them and let’s go ahead and fix this thing.”

And I just thought. WOW. Because those were things that were bad—it had been wrong, and not only was it against the rules, but each time—something got messed up and had to be fixed. But regardless—the reaction was never in anger, though he had the right each time to be upset and disapointed. The correction was brought about in love, with grace.

And it just helped me understand something about God, about the ways he deals with us. Kris didn’t even reference that verse I mentioned above—it just came to mind because it finally made sense. We’re afraid of God’s judgment and punishment, but his discipline for us is not like we are used to. If we understand his love, we don’t have to fear his discipline—it’s done in love and not anger. Perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. I think that brings a lot of freedom.